Weekly Jokes

Remember this as you climb the ladder of success-

like the monkey the higher you climb the more is revealed.

January 15, 2010

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his

Frogs wedding

discussing with his psychic.A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?” “No,” says the psychic. “Next semester in her biology class.”

By Unknown
Message: Seeking mis-guided counsel maybe disaterous to your health.
Posted October 06, 2009
toilet20paper
You’ve got mail
Three guys drinking in a trendy bar, there is a loud ping noise. One of the guys says, “it’s ok, I have received an email. I can view it from the right lens of my glasses”.
“Wow”, was the response from the other two.
Shortly afterwards a loud peep peep was heard. The second guy says, “It’s ok, I have received a video clip, I can view it on my watch”.
“Really”, said the other two, “Wow fantastic”.
The third guy goes to the toilet and returns with his pants down and toilet paper trailing from his back side. He looks at the other two and says, “You will never guess where I just received a fax”.
By John Carrington
Posted Sunday July 5, 2009
Dad will never say
Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how ’bout that?… I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude … I like that.

7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car — GO CRAZY.

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend … you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies — you know — that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring — now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father’s Day? aahh — don’t worry about that — it’s no big deal.

From: http://www.ahajokes.com/par025.html

Message

Men will be Men,..and thats the way we like it

Posted Sunday June 21, 2009

Out drinking again!

An Irishman’s been at the pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So the guy stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.
He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls all the way home and at the door stands up and again falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!”
“And what makes you say that?”, he asks as he puts on his best innocent face.
“The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again”.
By AFK  – http://www.tiscali.co.uk/community/laughter.html
Message
Don’t Drink and Roll…